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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: May 27, 2008 2:10pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: 78 days and then....poof

made a big mistake

sorry

guess i need more help than it thought

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Poster: craven714 Date: May 27, 2008 5:49pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Got your 78 Direwolf right here......

http://www.archive.org/details/gd1978-07-08.mtx.tobin.91777.flac16

Focus on this 78 Direwolf.
It's all you need.
You may feel like they test you, test you, and might as well arrest you, but there will only be time for Dirwolf after some good lovin. You may, just for a moment, stand there in silence, shocked by the foul evil deed you have done. But, I dunno...it must have been the roses. The doctors may call you crazy. Sometimes you is, sometimes you ain't. But when a couple shots of whiskey makes anything start looking good, you gotta head back to minglewood.
If you can't believe me, don't make it hard to believe in you
'Cause we all need each other, well you know it's true.
I may ramble on, but I promise you it's a deal.


Cause ya know, I was pretty set too (Set Two) in my ways.
There are sometimes when you wanna just tear this whole building down. You may have to realize you're set out on a ship of fools, but your time is coming any day. The voices tell me so. You will call down thunder and speak the same, until you understand that you are not the other one and eventually you will wake up to be the eyes of the world. You may have to drum your way to some place as helpful as the Wharf Rat association.
(The phrase that in cludes a Franklin Tower reference could not be minimalized, the words speak volumes;)

In another time's forgotten space
Your eyes looked from your mother's face
Wildflower seed on the sand and stone
May the four winds blow you safely home

Roll away the dew

I'll tell you where the four winds dwell
In Franklin's tower there hangs a bell
It can ring, turn night to day
It can ring like fire when you lose your way

God save the child who rings that bell
It may have one good ring, baby, you can't tell
One watch by night, one watch by day
If you get confused, listen to the music play

Some come to laugh their past away
Some come to make it just one more day
Whichever way your pleasure tends
If you plant ice, you're gonna harvest wind


In Franklin's tower the four winds sleep
Like four lean hounds the lighthouse keep
Wildflower seed in the sand and wind
May the four winds blow you home again

So, sometimes when the cuckoos crying, when the moon is half way down, may inspiration move you brightly. And you won't end up "sorry" and you won't end up on a Saturday night "doing" the werewolves of London, even if your hair was perfect.

Sorry if these were "reachers" or reach-arounds,(God knows if you had a nickel for every one that SDH has given you....) but note the set list order along with my concern.

In other words--Stay in there. Support is here, but it all lies with you. And listen to yourself as well as the Dead.

oh and PS ...quit fucking farm animals while you're at it


SHIT! I have an extra "e" left over. Anyone know where it goes?

This post was modified by craven714 on 2008-05-28 00:49:01

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Poster: staggerleib Date: May 27, 2008 3:24pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

Actually, I was thinking of perspective. Don't look at it as how you failed, but what you accomplished. When playing guitar, you don't start out a virtuoso, do you? You need to keep practicing. You'll get there.

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: May 27, 2008 3:29pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

good point - i made a mistake and need to learn from it. thank you for that perspective. alot of people are mad at me right now. well actually, just my girlfriend is - my ex understands it - she knows.

thanks man - it is a new day tomorrow. i dont want to live like this.

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Poster: staggerleib Date: May 27, 2008 3:39pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

see. that's just it. You've made a decision. You don't want to live like this. That's really excellent. The rest is just making it happen.

The hardest part is making the decision, and believing in it.

Quitting smoking for me was so hard. I smoked for 25 years. One day, I got on my bicycle, and couldn't make it a mile without hacking up a lung. It sucked. I decided then and there that I was no longer a smoker.

The difference was that I wasn't quitting. I just wasn't a smoker.

Now, you've got to decide that you are no longer a user. I know you can do it.

Again, try to focus on the positive. You've accomplished a lot. And, your girlfriend will feel what she feels. When you do recover, she's going to come around.

I have confidence in you. Now you need to have confidence in you.

Matt

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Poster: jemajn2323 Date: May 27, 2008 4:23pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

Sounds like you've just shown courage and determination. Patience with your gusts and storms is for all to embrace.

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Poster: rastamon Date: May 27, 2008 4:39pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

doesn't the AA 12step program include a sponser you can call in case of dire-temptation?
In any case, imo- just enjoy 1 or 2 cool brews and stop there.
Some religions of weakness claim you have no control, save complete quitting. I disagree.
They will claim you can't moderate, that you're helpless and weak. Imo, that philosophy of "I'm helpless" keeps the Organization going.. & the $funding$ keeps rolling in.....
With God (and prayer) ALL things are possible, even moderation- (imagine that!)
I used to drink like a sive, then I used some willpower and cut waaaaaay back. Just another mindset (like the "I'm helpless" or "I have no control" mantra!
I decided that I CAN be in control of drinking (or smoking-etc). In any case, you believe as thou whilst.

One day "off the wagon" out of 78? BFD. Not to worry or fret- imo. Of course, I'll find little to no agreement to all the above, but it's my take on the AAIndustry.

Belgium Fat Tire Ale mmmmmmmmmmmmm!

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Poster: L.A. Women Date: May 27, 2008 5:13pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

I agree with the rastaman. You hear it all the time but it is the truth, moderation is the key to everything.

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Poster: Stealz Date: May 27, 2008 5:30pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

Well, I guess this will be your expected post in disagreement.

More power to you if you can drink the one or two cold brews and let it be. You must not be an alcoholic (after all, alcoholism is about a helluva lot more than just drinking like a sieve), and if you are then I wish it worked for me the way it does for you. I know for a fact that drinking one or two (moderation) is far from the answer for me and I don't think it's the answer for most, if not all of the other alcoholics I know (hundreds, if not thousands). Reason being is that it's not the 5th, 8th or 17th drink that gets me drunk, it's the first.

It's not how much someone drinks that defines them as an alcoholic, rather the effects that alcohol have on the individual mentally, physically, and spiritually.

I don't know any alcoholics that claim weakness or helplessness, only powerlessness which is quite different than the previous two. I am able to show strength and power in my life through my learned ability to not HAVE to drink... even one or two cold ones.

Controlled drinking just simply doesn't work for most alcoholics and to say that one should be able to control themselves/use willpower to curb their obsessive drinking AND thinking problem is symptomatic of the stigmas attached to alcoholism. "Why can't you just stop?". "Why don't you just drink normal?" We've heard it all before and don't you think that if it were that easy for all alcoholics on the face of the Earth that alcoholism would disappear tomorrow?

It's a shame to hear someone make backhanded comments about a group of people who have found something that for us works. If it's not for you then fine, move along. But why put an entire society of millions world wide down for following a set of principles that, in many cases, have saved their lives?

Your comments on the financial aspects of AA are quite naive and extremely arrogant and as a result you'll get no further comments from me on the topic.

I do agree that one out of 78 days in early sobriety is no big deal as long as than one time doesn't cost the alcoholic their or someone else's life. More alcoholics stay drunk than do stay sober so it only stands to reason that he drank. Hope is always around the corner, though.

Of course, I'll find little to no agreement from you on all of the above but it's my take on your take of the AAIndustry (AAIndustry being one of the absolute funniest things I've ever read, heard, seen or otherwise).

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: May 27, 2008 7:36pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

thanks for your comments man. i dont know where rasta got off on saying that, but each to his own. like you said, i cant have the first, never mind the fifth or the eighth.

if it was pure willpower, i wouldnt have posted.

back on the horse though :) lord knows i dont want "this"

thanks man

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Poster: Stealz Date: May 28, 2008 10:44am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

No problem dire...

When people don't or won't understand something that makes them look at or question themselves, slanderous remarks are sure to follow.

Keep your head up. You're an alcoholic, alcoholics drink. Big deal.

The last few months have not gone to waste. Should a bodybuilder work out, get big, then take a day off does his muscle mass turn to flab? No. Our bodies, minds, and spirits don't forget that easily but all too often the cunning, baffling, and powerful nature of our disease is too much for one man to handle alone.

Get my e-mail from Ashes and I'll give you my phone number. Maybe we can talk sometime, maybe not. Up to you.

The point comes, though, when there are no more excuses and drinking, for us, becomes nothing more than a self-servings means to an unattainable end. The Search for the Perfect Oblivion.

Be well and I will keep you and yours in both my thoughts and prayers.

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Poster: pigpen_81 Date: May 28, 2008 3:59am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

Hi Dire,
I'm a day late and a dollar short on this post but figured I'd toss my hat in the ring anyway. You're doing the right thing as far as I'm concerned. You're being honest and reaching out. begin rant/Alcoholism is an illness,... the AMA recognizes it as such. Would you try to use willpower on another type of illness ? Try using willpower on diarrhea.
Stealz is giving you some good advice, and Rasta made a good point as well,... perhaps next time you are feeling tempted or weak; pick up the phone and call someone before you pick whatever it is you are having a problem with and tell them. I can't tell you how many times I've been at the end of my rope and just the simple act of expressing it outloud to another person who understands the illness has saved my ass./end rant
Wishing you the best and sending good thoughts you're way.
Hang in there.

pigpen_81

This post was modified by pigpen_81 on 2008-05-28 10:59:13

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Poster: rastamon Date: May 28, 2008 8:05am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

Call a sponsor but don't call me, the ole moderate :)
http://alcohol411.info/What%20Does%20A%20Sponsor%20Do.htm


I wonder how the people incarcerated quit drinking?
I wonder what would happen if an alcholic was put in a cell with only 2 fine ales. Would he start beating his head bloody when he ran out?
Seems to me that the freedom to find and drink booze + the stinkin-thinkin of the hippy "let it all hang out" lends to the "powerlessness" that AA espouses. If someone had a gun to your loved ones head and said one more drink and BAM!!
I bet willpower would trump the powerless mantra.
Radical examples fer sure...but my point is yes you can moderate. To enjoy a fine glass of wine or whatever, then stop. Jesus must have been F'd up when his first public miracle was changing water into wine so the wedding party could continue (no doubt non-alcholic grape juice-har-har!)
No proof, but I'd guess a notable percentage of AA'ers
are NOT alcholic, but have been made to believe they are.
When all they are lacking is a little self control (which can be learned).

Well, if DeeWolf cannot control himself to moderation, and is powerless, I suggest shock collar therapy connected to blood alcohol level...over .08? AR-AR-AR-AR-ieeeeeeeee!!!
Give me a shock collar and I'll show ya how to "unhabit" -haha.
IMO, seemingly uncontrollable vices have their root in demonic(negative forces)obsession or possession. Prayer and fasting can clean out that cluttered house and the VERY desire for entertaining uncontrollable habits is cast away.
That goes with all the ton's of vices that control people.
Then after the "house" is clean, you have to seal that silver mine with the light. The "Higher Power" so espoused by AA can also lead you to be....duh....MODERATE.
Then you can enjoy ONE ale, ONE glass of wine- for the taste and enjoyment, not the drunkin stupor or beerbuzz.
Wanna cure? Get to the spiritual root of the problem and not just cover the symptoms and be an AA-alcholic the rest of your life. Life is too short not to actually enjoy a fine wine (or whutever) without having to drink ones self into a drunkin-stupor.
I could not live like that




This post was modified by rastamon on 2008-05-28 15:05:24

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Poster: pigpen_81 Date: May 28, 2008 12:40pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

I can not believe that I have spent the last 23 years sitting in church basements drinking bad coffee when all I had to do is go to jail. Then I would at least be able to drink in moderation... Damn !

I'm jumping ship,... Rastamon ? Would you be my sponser?

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Poster: rastamon Date: May 28, 2008 1:06pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

I'm here for you buddy! Lets talk over a brew
yeah, i sure don't know how them prisoners make it...one second at a time no doubt

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Poster: Stealz Date: May 28, 2008 8:11am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

Do the incarcerated remain alcohol free once out?
After not taking the drink to save a loved one's life does the hero remain sober? I can't say and neither can you.

Willpower can and does work for even true alcoholics from time to time and an alcoholic can remain dry for years at a time if they so desire (on willpower alone) but I bet they wouldn't wish their own quality of life while doing so on even their worst enemy.

"Sobriety" is about so much more than just not drinking. I don't expect you to understand that because it's apparent from your points of view and comments that you are not alcoholic.

Your examples and attempts to discredit and disparage a way of life that has saved the lives of millions of people worldwide is ignorant. You are right, self control absolutely can be learned (with the help of God, friends and family) and many alcoholics display this learned sense of self control through knowing and understanding that we don't have to drink to enjoy dinner, a party, a day at the beach, sitting on the couch, messing on the computer, sleeping, sex, time with family, time with friends, a movie, a ball game, an evening on the back porch, a BBQ, a day beside the pool, life.....

I think it's great that you are able to drink in moderation and have learned how to do so. I think anyone who is not an alcoholic should enjoy a drink from time to time. No reason not to. But to suggest that everyone else should be like you and learn to drink like you is pompous, arrogant, and insensitive. You say that you can not live in a manner that doesn't allow you to enjoy a fine wine... so what if there are those of us who can and enjoy doing so? Alcohol is not the end all be all tool of life enjoyment for all and it is even further arrogant of you to suggest that a life without alcohol is a life not worth living.

You say that a notable percentage of AA members are not alcoholic but have been made to believe they are. This statement shows as much naivete about the AA program as can be shown by any one individual (save some of your other comments from your previous post). I find it extremely distasteful and offensive of you to say that not only do AA members force others to believe non truths but that AA members actually make any one do anything at all, never mind infringe upon what they do or do not believe. There are no "you must"s, no "you have to"s, not even any "you need to"s.
Rather, AA is comprised of a series of suggestions that one can freely take or leave if they wish. Sharing personal hope, strength, and experience ("I once felt the way you do and this is what I did to get through it") are the keys to working with other people (and one only works with another if they are asked to do so by the individual seeking help).
One may be forced to AA by a judge but no one is ever forced to stay once their legal requirements are met. Never.

And referring to the same statement regarding a notable percentage of AA members not being alcoholics, well, the contradiction within your words is obvious to me, if not others as well. If a notable percentage aren't truly alcoholics then it stands to reason that a notable percentage are. What to do about them? Should they, too, follow the rastamon guide to controlled drinking? You weren't directing your comments to them. Do the real alcoholics not count, only the ones you feel to have been brainwashed (ludicrous)?

I agree with you infinitely that the root of the alcoholic problem is of a spiritual nature. This is AA's primary concern as it relates to the solution, not the cure. There is no cure for alcoholism but if there were it would most certainly lie in prayer and meditation because it's just as important to listen to God as it is to talk to him/her. AA, in fact, often refers to alcoholism as a spiritual malady. So, in regards to mending the spirit and soul as a means towards curbing the desire to drink obsessively I agree with you wholeheartedly.

Also, for what it's worth, once "you seal the silver mine
with the light" not only can nothing get out, but nothing can get in... including alcohol.

I would appreciate it greatly if you can find it in yourself to stop putting down a way of life that not only has improved my own physical, mental, and spiritual well being but probably has done so for someone you know, not to mention millions upon millions for 70+ years. It's rude to continue making comments that suggest that I have somehow been brainwashed, that not only what I have learned but my very life is a sham. When you say it about AA you say it about people, real, live, breathing human beings whose very breath is proof that AA can and does work for those who it's meant to. Those it's meant to, not all.

You summed it up best when you stated "I could not live like that". You can't but others can, do, and enjoy it while they're doing it. It's not your place to attempt to put your own personal answer to alcohol above the answer that works for so many others just as no member of AA will say that our answer is better than yours. To each his own, but with a little less cynicism please.

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Poster: high flow Date: May 27, 2008 5:02pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlkBk7X4ot4

Keepin sober can be like battling the Frontman of Evil!

Empty that trash Bob!

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Poster: Jerrob Hungar Date: May 28, 2008 3:13am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

I regret that it falls on me to present you with the inescapable truth, Dire. You have been a very naughty boy and I wouldn't blame Diane for bending you over her knee and administering a thoroughly sound thrashing with her most fiendish thrashing object...dissing Pigpen is very bad juju, muddaphucca!
;~)

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Poster: bluedevil Date: May 27, 2008 2:16pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

Life is a series of tox and detox. Don't get hung up on a slip up - just get back on the wagon and aim for 80 next time. Or 100. From everyone I know that has struggled with the rehab/detox route, it never takes on the first (10) go round but it does appear to get easier as time goes by.

Although you're an asshole, I'm pulling for you....

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: May 27, 2008 2:21pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

thanks man

im trying

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Poster: TitoAndSmokey__*** Date: May 27, 2008 5:03pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

dude.....if you have 78 days sober then you drink one night, then you stay sober for another 22 days, you can say you have been sober for 100 days....the 78 days isnt lost

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Poster: spring mountain high Date: May 27, 2008 7:58pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

kind of like dimaggio's hit streak...after it was broken he hit safely in the next 16 games

or like 86 years of red sox futilty, momentarily broken over the past 3 years, hopefully to be continued for another 86 years

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Poster: rastamon Date: May 27, 2008 5:09pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

BigT,
so is that deal? To be "off the wagon" you gotta drink till yer stinkodrunk??
And to be "on the wagon" ube stone sober? Self control & moderation seems easier to me

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Poster: jglynn1.2 Date: May 27, 2008 2:28pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

I found the first 2 or 3 months was toughest, now I don't even give it a thought. I drink a fake beer if I really feel like having a cold one, but I haven't even had a fake one in a few months.

Get past it and start over.

And stop hanging around boozing cows!!!

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Poster: el muerto Date: May 28, 2008 9:13am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

WTF ?.... better dew the 8th step again

Attachment: cool_tatoo.jpg
Attachment: dumbass.jpg
Attachment: Weenie-Bite.jpg

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Poster: William Tell Date: May 27, 2008 6:28pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

Hey guy, I wish I had an inspirational story for the moment, but I don't...sorry. Hang in and just keep on keeping on.

[BTW, decided I'd save my "nice guy posts" for the nice guy forum...]

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

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Poster: craven714 Date: May 27, 2008 6:55pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

[BTW, decided I'd save my "nice guy posts" for the nice guy forum...]------------indeed...........


he types from his "laptop" in bed with SDH playing the
"big spoon--little spoon" game

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Poster: William Tell Date: May 28, 2008 10:53am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

Hmmm, and I thought he was eating crackers...bastard.

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Poster: Teedawg Date: May 27, 2008 2:59pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

I 1st entered a rehab program in 1983, and was on and off the ship for about 10 years. But now am approaching 10 years of clean and serene, anddamn glad I finally worked my program, which included getting off the pity pot. IE: Man that was a rough week, I really deserve to go to this party, or all my friends are going to the show, I got to go even though I have not done the work for me to make it through this without difficulty. Work yourself into shape, find fun athletic things to do, read more, keep yourself motivated to be a better person.

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Poster: Dhamma1 Date: May 27, 2008 5:09pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

Have no personal advice to share, but know that I'm wishing you well and always appreciate running into your reviews and posts (like many other people you've never met). Hang in there.

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Poster: WHARFRAT Date: May 27, 2008 3:01pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof Your only human

Through on some GD and groove.
So what you slipped?
Time to start another run of days.
I'm sure you can do it. I bet everyone else
was especially proud of you man.
Just keep going on man, One Day At a Time.
It's all you can do do brother.
All good things in all good time my friend.

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Poster: staggerleib Date: May 27, 2008 2:25pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 78 days and then....poof

Dude-
78 is an accomplishment. I know it's not all you want, but you've proven yourself something. Consider it this way: You are retraining your body to accept a new paradigm. It will take work, and it's not always going to be easy. I believe that you'll work through this.

My thoughts are with you. Keep fighting the good fight.